A Fear Beyond No Other ~Kevin

I was sitting in Biology class yesterday, watching a video on Evolution, and they were talking about the extinction of species. At that instant, I had one of those thoughts about death, that just freaks you right out. I don't know what caused me to think of it, but I imagined there was no heaven, no afterlife, nothing... That after our short time on earth, all that was waiting for us was nothingness...
Silence.
Dark.
But I wouldn't know it was silent and dark, because there would be no conciousness either.
For a moment I thought our short life would be followed only by nothing, and you never know when the nothing is going to come.
My stomach contorted with these thoughts. I knew that if I believed that there was no afterlife, life was just a brief glimmer of everything there is to experience, before it is suddenly no more.

But somehow that didn't make sense. Why would we be capable of belief, faith, courage, compassion, and morals if our existence was pointless, and death was final? Why would it be that by some freak coincedence our bodies were created to think, feel, and love? It just didn't add up. I came to the temporary conclusion that death cannot be the end, that I know for sure. What awaits after death, I do not know, and I do not want to find out, however I know that once I do, in eighty or ninety years, I will be happy with what I discover.

The Chaos of It All ~Kevin

Sometimes everyday life takes over, and there is not time for religion. Right?

It is the time of year that we are all getting back into school, church, sports, music, and the other million things that everyone does. Stress is up, health is down. People speed to get to work because they left the house late, and speed to get home because they left work late. The business of the year sets in, and it is easy to forget about your own spirituality.

The moment of clarity for me, when I knew I could not "put God on hold" or "take a break from God" was when I heard my church choirs first chord two Sundays ago. Moments when it seems the clouds are parting, and from the heavens God is smiling. The music, while not performed by proffessionals, was heavenly, in fact I could not believe what I was hearing. I thought for a moment that I was asleep, and this music was a creation of my own imagination. I should have known that was not the case, as I am definately not quite that creative...

I had a second moment of clarity when my school choir did their first run through of an old warm up we did last year. This was when I remembered my love for singing. This is when I reopened the most potent of connections to God. Music.

So, the next time you think there is no time for God, just sing a song, and God will hear it, and you will feel God's presence.

God Among Us ~Kevin

One of the things Gareth and I share a passion for is nature. I believe he mentioned earlier his feeling towards nature as a connection between us and god. I couldn't agree more with him. There is something magical about stepping outside on an ordinary summer day, gazing at the clear blue sky and breathing in the sweet clean air...
Smelling a buttercup in a field of thousands, it boggles my mind that each buttercup in that field has a smell... And each field in the world has a thousand more flowers with a thousand more smells. It's times like these when it's hard not to have faith.

One of my favorite things to do, is stargazing. One Christmas I was given a beautiful telescope with a high class electronics system that will take you on a tour of the constellations. Looking into the telescope and seeing a universe of stars is truly a humbling experience. In one very philosophical conversation with my younger brother, I told him "Each star is just a pimple on the Universe's face." We laughed and laughed... When I can have a bonding experience while enjoying the beauty that is the world, I know that something special is happening.

Here is my favorite sunset picture from my recent vacation to Victoria. Watching this sunset from Gabriola Island gave me one of those surreal feelings, when you can't help but believe. The beauty is in the clouds, but I like that you can see a mast silhouetted against the sky.

My spiritual background. ~Kevin

Spirituality, religion, faith, or whatever you want to call it, is an ever evolving organism. Or at least, in my life it is. I am a product of the United Church of Canada because my parents were raised in that church. In fact, the church that I attend now, Scarboro United, is where my parents first met. In fact, when my mom was growing up, my Papa, her dad, was the minister there. As a kid, it would give me a warm sensation to look at his picture in the parlour, along with all the old men who had at one time preached in the walls that I knew so well. I would grab the hand of a friend, run to that wall and point. "That's my Papa!", I'd say, and I would examine the strange, yet familiar face of that young man.

Before I was old enough to know what it is my Papa did when he worked at the church, I had a very mixed up perception of God. I knew God was associated with the church, because it was the word we always started our prayers with. Eventually, I found out that God was not just a word, but rather some entity, person, thing... And like many kids, I just assumed that God was the guy standing at the front, giving the sermons, leading the prayers. My minister at that time fit the part. He was older, grey, had a white mostache and a booming voice. I would say to my parents "Is that God?" each Sunday, and each Sunday they would tell me no. But that didn't stop my believing it, until he retired. I didn't know God could retire! Well, as it turns out, that guy wasn't God. Then what was? It was so much easier to pray when I had someone to pray to. Someone real, steadfast, unchanging...

The classic Sunday school line is "God is in you. God is in everyone. God is everything. God is everywhere." For a child, it is good to have an answer, so this one answer had to do for me. But it left me with some questions. As I grew, I came to love the church. I loved it's message, it's community feeling. I still had questions. I became fairly active with the youth group, and loved every minute of it.

For a long time, it seems, I've been searching for spiritual enlightenment, which is in fact what lead me to the idea of starting a youth forum. There will be much more to come about me, and my experiences with God. Stay tuned!

Peace.



--
In the face of uncertainty, there is nothing wrong
with hope.

- O. Carl Simonton

Post the First ~Kevin

In today's world, it's really hard to talk about God. We are so technology based, schedule driven, and socially conscious, that to believe in God, or heaven forbid, TALK about god would be folly. I'm not here to say whether or not God exists, or to call on people to repent their sins, or turn to, or away from, Jesus. I am here to talk about religion, spirituality, and people.

Basically, what I want this to be, eventually, is an open forum for youths of any religion, race, background, country, etc. to talk about what affects them spiritually.

There will be more to come soon. Peace.